Archives:
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on the link to visit the related question:
{Giving
Good Blow Jobs/Hand Jobs)---{Giving Good Blow Jobs Take 2}---{Do
Women Prefer Shaved Men}---{Female
Seeking Orgasm}---{Making Breasts,
Butt & Thighs Bigger}---{Hot for Stepmom}---{Wanting
to Cheat with Older Man}---{Getting Girlfriend
to Have Anal Sex}---{Teenage Masturbation}---{Painful
First Time--too young}---{Overbearing Tomcat}---{Impotence}---{Can't use Tongue}---{How
to be a Stud}---{Pill Side Effects}---{Threesome
Rules}---{Virgin Obsession}---Vaginal
Infection}---{Cheating with the
Best Friend}---{Pressure to Orgasm}---{Too Much
Male Stamina} {Younger Man Seeking Older Woman}---{That
Ever-elusive Orgasm}---{Trying to Get Girlfriend
to go Bi}---{Swinging Couples No More}---{Curious
about Bisexuality}---{Going from
Friends to Lovers}---{Snowblowing}---{Foot
Fetish }---{Threesome}---{Breaking
in a Virgin}---{Masturbation}---{Pussy
Shaving}---{Vaginal Fisting}---{Older
Woman Younger Man}--- {Man who likes Vaginal Odor}---{Hestitant
on Top}---{Cunnilingus Aversion}---{His
Cock's too Big}---{Smegma Problems}---{Menage
a Trois}---{Cheating Heart}---{Flirting
and Jealousy}---{Just a Fuck}---{Menage
a Trois Part 2}--- {Aloof Paramour}---
{Shy Stud Needs Action}--- {Fantasies
about Uniforms}--- {Affair with Married Woman}--- {Cemetary
Sex}---{Jealous of Ex-girlfriend}
Dear
Miss Kitten:
I'm 19 years old and bisexual. I'm involved with a man right now and
I want to give him sexual pleasure without sex but I'm not sure what
to do with his penis. How does one give a good hand job? Blow job?
--Anonymouse
Paw
with no claws, pucker with no teeth. . .
First
I want to address something that everyone should read. . .the fact
that you're 19 years old and bisexual has nothing whatsoever to do
with your question. Your age and sexual preference is your business,
and there's no reason to tell me about it, unless you're having a
problem with that. Just wanted you to know that your business is your
business, don't feel like you have to tell everyone your business.
Make sense?
Your
question is really about how to handle a penis. Think about what you
like someone to do with your genitals. Then you imagine that you have
a penis and then imagine how you'd like someone to handle your penis.
(I assume you're a girl, because I don't think a guy would ask this
question in the first place--he probably knows what to do with a penis.)
Next,
I'm going to say that when it comes to any sexual activity, just let
your mind wander. Pretend you are creating a work of art with your
body and his, feel the mystery of life and lose yourself in it. Ask
him periodically if he likes what you're doing and if there's anything
special he wants you to do. Do what comes to your mind.
Now,
let's take each item one-by-one. Hand jobs. The key to hand jobs is
lubrication. Without lubrication, a hand job can quickly become agony
for your partner. Use KY Jelly or another water soluble lubricant
and remember to apply it often. Don't allow the surface of his penis
to become dry, keep it lubricated at all times. I highly recommend
the flavored lubricants you can get at any sex shop. They're great
fun. As for what to do with your hands, as long as they're lubricated,
try different motions. Use one hand, then use two. See what he likes.
Some men like you to stroke them faster when they get close to ejaculating,
but then stop while they're ejaculating. Some men don't. Just keep
an eye on his reactions and talk to him (but don't talk too much--that
can be annoying.)
Blow
jobs. The key to blow jobs is keeping your teeth back behind your
lips. Practice with your fingers. Pucker around your fingers but don't
let your teeth touch your fingers. Practice keeping your lips wet
while you do it. Using your fingers will help you know when you're
using your teeth. No man likes it when you scrape his penis with your
teeth. Beyond that, it's whatever you think of. Lick, suck, kiss,
and just pay attention to his reaction and find out what he likes.
To give yourself a rest (giving blow jobs is hard work), combine hand
jobs with blow jobs. Go back and forth between the two. Heck, you
may even want to throw in a boob job (lube up your cleavage and slide
his penis in between your breasts).
There
are books at sex shops that go in great detail about such things.
Obviously, my column is far too limited in space for such detail,
so I recommend checking them out. Good luck!
.
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Dear
Miss Kitten:
I have been looking for a guide on how to give a blow job because
I've never given one and really don't have the slightest clue on what
to do. I want to make it good for my boyfriend when I do give him
one. I know it's personal preference on his part but do you think
you could help me out in the least? --Anonymouse
Again,
pucker with no teeth. . .
The
first question is so similar to yours, so please read my answer above.
The only thing I'd like to add is that you shouldn't be afraid of
failure in this area--is easy to pleasure your man if you relax and
watch his reactions, and listen to his desires. As I said above, there
are plenty of books on this subject matter. Go visit your local sex
shop, or visit Adam & Eve
or Xandria online (they're both
catalog retailers).
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Dear
Miss Kitten:
I
often have fantasies about having sex with my stepmom. I often masturbate
over the thought of getting to fuck her. I love to look, or touch
her panties whenever I can. This often excites me to the point of
orgasm. Is there something wrong with me, or is this normal sexual
behavior. Please shed some light on this situation for me. --Anonymouse
Cats
obsess too. . .
Dear,
dear kitten, please listen to Miss Kitten: I can't tell you if there's
something wrong with you, or if this is normal behavior. I simply
don't know enough about the situation.
Assuming
that your stepmother is a young, attractive lady, it's understandable
that you have this attraction, but it's unacceptable. There are things
in life that we want, but we simply cannot have. This is one of those
things. Your stepmother is off limits, and you have to get this situation
under control straightaway.
Can
you do this? Can you get this under control? This is the question
you have to ask yourself. If this has become an obsession that you
can't control, you absolutely MUST seek professional help. Please
don't be ashamed of yourself if this is the case. We all need help
from time to time.
The
thing that concerns me is the fact that you're stealing your stepmother's
underwear to feed your fantasy. You must understand that it's one
thing for you to get excited by your wife or girlfriend's underwear,
it's quite another to get excited by underwear that belongs to someone
with whom you are not intimate. To secretly take her underwear is
a violation of her privacy and her property. It is stealing. And to
take her underwear in order to masturbate with them, is especially
violating. You have to stop this behavior immediately.
Please
understand me: an underwear fetish in and of itself is not bad. I
am not saying that you cannot use underwear during your masturbation,
but I am saying that you CANNOT use underwear that you stole. Go to
the store and buy underwear for your use. Don't ever, ever steal them
from an unsuspecting lady.
You
absolutely must stop this right now. If you are a minor and have to
get your parents involved, talk to your father and tell him that you
need to see a psychologist. You don't need to tell him about your
masturbatory activities, simply tell him that you're having trouble
with some things that you need to straighten out. If you can't talk
to your father, talk to a counselor at school. I wish you luck kitten.
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Dear
Miss Kitten:
I
am 19 years old, going to college and have a boyfriend. A few months
ago I started working a part-time job and met an older man there.
He wasn't flirting with me or anything, but he was very nice and helpful
and funny. We became friends. At the company Xmas party (my boyfriend
was there and he's sweet too) we danced together a few times, including
a slow dance, and it was very nice.
Last
month our company had an after-hours birthday party at a local bar/restaurant
and we got a little tipsy. My boyfriend wasn't there and when we left
late that night it was raining out and I didn't have an umbrella so
he walked me to my car. Impulsively I kissed him, and he kissed me
back. We kissed again, and he said "we won't talk about this" and
then each went home and never talked about it again, although the
next few days we smiled at each other. But I've been thinking about
him a lot.
Next
week the company is having a birthday party for him. He's turning
60 -older than my father! -and I'm thinking of a very personal birthday
present. I've never been attracted to older men but this is an exception.
I really want to sleep with him, just this once. I think he would.
He's not married and I really don't think he would want it to go beyond
a one-time thing either. It won't effect my job since I've already
given my notice and won't be working there in two weeks since I need
to put more time into school work. And for some reason I don't even
feel like I'm cheating on my boyfriend, which I wouldn't do otherwise.
I feel more like someone who's at a banquet while on a diet, but just
this once I'm going to try this exotic dessert that I'll never try
again.
Any
advice before taking the plunge? --Unknown
Use
a condom?
You
ask for my advice, but you sound pretty insistent that this is what
you're going to do. Why ask for my advice?
My
thoughts on this subject are: he's too old for you, he may refuse
your advances anyway, and what if your boyfriend does find out?
I'm
not going to tell you that one-night stands are bad and that you should
save yourself for marriage. I'm no Dr. Laura. But this guy is older
than your father, and hopefully he's thought about that kiss enough
to regret it. Hopefully, he'll stop you cold in your tracks.
Try
to imagine yourself in ten years. How will you feel about this? Will
you wish you didn't do it? Will you be glad you did? There's your
answer. I really don't have any real advice except, wear a latex condom
with spermicide.
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Dear
Miss Kitten:
I
have been going out with my girlfriend for 20 months now. I love her
very much and I know that she loves me too. I am more experimental
than my girlfriend, and I want to try anal sex with her and I want
her to let me ejaculate in her mouth when she is performing oral sex,
but she says she can't - it's too early for her. So what should I
do? --Bad Boy
You
can take a feline to water, but you can't make her drink
Feeling
frustrated? First let's state the obvious. It's your girlfriend you
need to be telling this to, not Miss Kitten. Miss Kitten is not going
to telephone your girlfriend and try to talk her into different sexual
positions on your behalf. You must do this yourself, and you must
be careful not to force the issue. If after 20 months she is still
saying it's too early for her, one must wonder what milestone she
is waiting for. Perhaps she needs time to work up the courage, or
perhaps she just doesn't want to and never will. If that's the case,
only you can decide how you want the relationship to proceed.
Keep in mind that anal sex is rarely an appealing idea to a woman
who hasn't experienced it. And if she has, it may not have been a
pleasant encounter. Statistically, women who enjoy anal sex claim
it to be the most ferocious orgasm they've ever experienced. But like
anything else about sex, it's not for everybody. If she does consent,
(and if you want this to become a regular feature) you must be sure
to take it slowly.
This
can be a delicious addition to one's sexual menu, but not if it's
painful. She must be relaxed. Don't be in a hurry. Plan for plenty
of foreplay and have plenty of lubrication handy. Do not rush. When
it's time for penetration, proceed slowly and carefully. You do not
want this to be unpleasant for her. Be generous with the lubrication,
and if it hurts her, slow down. Do not proceed further. It may be
that the first time you do not penetrate all the way. So be it. You
must try to make this experience wonderful, thrilling and pleasurable
for her. It would be a shame if she's not turned onto something she
would otherwise enjoy because of unnecessary roughness.
Ultimately,
if you two are truly in love, and it sounds like you are, that love
will be bigger and more important than the minor inconsistencies that
occur in any relationship. You may not like how she leaves her bath
towel on the floor, or she may not like where you squeeze the toothpaste,
but these things do not derail a relationship because the love you
feel for one another is bigger and more important. It may simply be
that, pardon the pun, having a penis ejaculate in her mouth is distasteful
to her and nothing can change that it will always be so. For some
women it's a major turn-on, for others it's a turn-off. Some are undecided.
It probably has nothing to do with her love for you.
Talk
to her about it, see what she feels about it, why she's not ready.
Listen to her. And tell her what you want, not in a demanding way,
but let her know that your desire for her is that: a desire for her.
But
don't fool yourself. She may not like the same things as you and there
may be no getting around it. It may be possible to convince someone
to consent to something they don't like, although why either partner
would consent to THAT arrangement is beyond me, but Miss Kitten seriously
doubts that someone can be convinced to like something that they have
a predilection not to like. You can't turn a turn-off into a turn-on.
Like the song says, you can't always get what you want. No matter
how good her friends say it is, no matter how nutritious it may be,
Miss Kitten will never love liver and onions. She must live with it
as well as you.
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Dear
Miss Kitten:
It's
a fact that MOST men prefer the shaved look on a women, but is it
the same in reverse? I mean do most women prefer the shaved look on
men or maybe nicely trimmed? Wondering
Sphinx
or Persian. . .again
I've
seen no studies confirming your "fact." In my lifetime so far, I've
come across men who like the shaved look, and others who do not.
In real life (not in the movies) most of the time, they simply don't
care one way or the other.
And
so it is with women. Some women like the shaved look, others do not,
and still others don't care one way or the other. It's my belief that
you should strive to know yourself and do what you want, and you'll
find a partner who loves that about you.
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Dear
Miss Kitten:
My
boyfriend and I have been together for over a year but I have yet
to have an orgasm (orally, manually, or by intercourse). We have tried
a variety of positions, and love each other very much but I don't
know what else to do. Please give me some advice!!! Nameless
Come
together
I
suspect you're getting yourself way too worked up about the orgasm
issue. Perhaps you're waiting for the big bang, you think the earth's
going to shake and the goddess Venus will descend from the heavens
to announce the orgasm's arrival.
It
doesn't happen that way. Unlike males who have ejaculation to announce
the orgasm's arrival, you only have your feelings. You have to relax
and enjoy the sex, and forget about the orgasm. As a female, you'll
notice that the experience is different each time. Sometimes you feel
like you're floating on air, other times you feel like a hungry animal,
or totally full from a big meal. Enjoy the different flavors of sex,
think about nothing else during the moment except how your body feels.
Ignore that voice that's pressuring you to orgasm.
And
if it's your boyfriend's voice you're hearing, tell him to can it.
Tell him to read the Miss Kitten question on the Archives page: Pressure
to Orgasm. RELAX!!!!!
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Dear
Miss Kitten:
My
question is do you have in advice on how to make your breasts, butt,
and thighs bigger. I didn't know if you answered those kinds of questions,
but I just thought that I would ask in case you had any idea. And
if you know the answer to one of these than I would like to specify
that I want a free way to do this. --Anonymouse
Meow
meow
I
once gained 40 pounds and went from a B cup to a D cup. My butt and
thighs were definitely bigger too--but I was fat. I'm not sure if
that's the answer you wanted.
So
yeah, you can eat a ton of junk food and gain some major weight, and
everything on your body will get bigger, including your breasts, butt
and thighs.
Or,
you can work out. Squats are a great way to build your quadriceps
and gluteals. Since you don't want to spend any money, go to the library
and check out a book on exercises. Of course, a gym membership will
only help your exercise routine--if you're a student, perhaps your
college has a gym. However, exercising will work for your butt and
thighs, but the breasts are another matter.
With
breasts, it's either weight gain or surgery. Exercising the pectoral
muscles can help the breasts be more firm, but you're not going to
increase their size by much.
I
have to ask: why are you concerned about your size? You do know that
different men like different sizes. Some men like women with a lot
of meat on their bones, others like women who are toothpicks. Some
men are breast men, some are thigh men. Although Hollywood would like
you to believe that men only want Pamela Anderson Lee, men in the
real world like all kinds of women in all shapes and sizes.
Remember
my story of gaining 40 pounds? I thought I was fat, but I was surprised
to find that there were a whole other segment of men out there that
thought I was hot. Different strokes for different folks. . .
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Dear
Miss Kitten:
I
was wondering if teen girls masturbate? Cause my friends always say
they don't, or they won't ever do it....say it isn't so..... --Anonymouse
Cats
do lick themselves, after all
Dear
kitten, do not fear. Either your friends are lying or they have been
taught by their parents that masturbation is wrong.
Masturbation
is a completely healthy, normal thing to do, as long as you do it
in private. It is very impolite to masturbate in public, not to mention
illegal!
Teen
girls do masturbate, and so do teen boys. In fact, people of all ages
masturbate. Miss Kitten was herself, 7 years old the first time she
masturbated.
So
don't you worry about a thing. You're a normal young lady.
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Dear
Miss Kitten:
1.
Last night I had sex for the first time. I had a lot of bleeding inside
of my vagina and a lot of pain. This morning the pain was gone. What
happened?
2.
Also, we didn't use a condom. Is that dangerous? And is it dangerous
if I allow him to penetrate me in my anus of my vagina?
3.
Sex is a good experience, I can tell. How can I learn to stand it
longer, for almost an hour? --Unknown
Kittens
should become cats first
1.
Bleeding is normal. Since you're not experiencing pain, there's nothing
to worry about physically.
2. It absolutely is very dangerous to not use a condom. You could
get pregnant, contract AIDS or some other disease. Always, always
use a condom with a spermicide. ALWAYS.
3.
It is even more dangerous to allow penetration in your anus without
a condom. The anus is not designed for a penis, and some rupturing
often occurs, whether it be a large or tiny rupture. This rupturing
provides direct access into your bloodstream for the AIDS virus. If
you have anal sex, always use a condom with spermicide and use plenty
of water-soluble lubrication (like KY Jelly) to reduce rupturing.
4.
Having sex for more than one hour should not be a goal of yours. Enjoying
sex responsibly is the goal. Using good judgement. Having good sex
will follow as a natural result.
It
concerns me that you're asking these questions AFTER you had sex.
These are questions that you should know the answer to BEFORE having
sex. I suspect that you're a little naive and too young to have sex.
I highly recommend that you wait until you're older and wiser before
having sex again. Do some research, talk to counselors and your doctor,
surf the net, learn everything you can about pregnancy, birth control,
AIDS, and other sexually transmitted diseases (STD). Arm yourself
with knowledge.
Also,
in about a month, see a doctor and explain that you've had your first
sexual encounter, without protection. Get a pregnancy test, as well
as a full gynecological exam and STD test. Be absolutely honest with
your doctor and ask them every question you can think of.
Of
course, I'm not talking about any of the emotional stuff that goes
along with sex. That is a book within itself, and that isn't what
you asked.
And, if you have sex again, USE A LATEX CONDOM WITH SPERMICIDE!
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Dear
Miss Kitten:
I
was recently with a guy who would not stop when I asked him to. He
was really creepy and kept on crawling all over me. He went down on
me and of course, it felt good, but I still wanted him to stop. He
started fingering me really hard until it hurt. When the pain didn't
go away I felt inside of myself to feel where it hurt. When I insert
my finger into my vagina a good ways I feel a hole about the size
of a pencil eraser. From what I can tell from pics, it looks like
it is my cervix or uterus. There is no bleeding but there is dull
pain almost like a bladder infection (only it's not). Do you have
any advice for me? Can you help? --Anonymouse
Overbearing
tomcat is bad news
First,
I'll address your immediate concern about having a hole in your vagina.
The absence of blood is a good sign that you have not suffered a tear.
The "hole" that you are feeling is more likely your cervix.
I say this to reduce your fear, but I still want you to see a doctor.
The pain you're feeling could be the result of an infection, and certain
infections can cause permanent damage to your reproductive organs,
sometimes resulting in sterility. I urge you to see a doctor as soon
as possible.
I also urge you to be completely honest with the doctor. It is essential
that your doctor have all of the information in order to accurately
diagnosis your condition. I know that it is uncomfortable to tell
a doctor such details, but your health depends upon it. Take comfort
in the knowledge that doctors hear a lot of things, and nothing you
say will shock or surprise.
I'd like to address the issue of being intimate with someone when
you didn't want to. I'd like to hear more about that, if you're willing
to talk about it. The little bit of information you gave me is not
enough for me to understand the situation. Was this a person that
you know, or was it a stranger? When you asked him to stop, did he
threaten you? Please write me again, I'd like to help you.
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Dear
Miss Kitten:
I
have been with the same man for almost ten years. I am 35 and he is
55. He knows that I am bi and we invite a third person in our bed
sometimes. We have always had a fun and adventurous sex life. Lately
he isn't so adventurous and has been having trouble getting
erect. He is always looking for something to help him. I love him
and plan to stay with him forever, it's just, I love sex and am saddened
by the thought that at 35 my sex life may have to end. He really is
a great man and I would do anything for him... Even give up sex...
But do I have too? Is there something I could do? --C
Frisky
no more?
You
say that's he's been looking for something to help him. Has he seen
a doctor?
With
all the advances in modern medicine (i.e., Viagra), there's no need
to suffer like this. His problem may be physical or it may be emotional.
The only way to find out is to see a doctor.
If
the problem is physical, the doctor will probably prescribe medication.
You'll probably see a rapid improvement.
If
the problem is emotional, the road to recovery may take much longer.
Be patient and understanding. But know that help is available, and
recovery is possible.
Don't
wait a moment longer. Make an appointment with your doctor today!
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Dear
Miss Kitten:
I
am a 36 year old woman who has engaged in bisexual fantasies, my boyfriend
is a 37 year old who in previous relationships has experienced threesomes
and enjoys them very much. I too would like to try a threesome but
have a jealous streak about 15 miles long and am afraid he may like
her more than me. This past weekend I met a gal who was married
and very bisexual, she invited me to join her for some fun. I asked
if my boyfriend could join us in the action. Her response to me was
"yes, but he cannot penetrate me; anything else is a go."
When I approached him with the situation he refused and said he didn't
think that was fair. What is fair? What is not? Are there rules to
this kind of activity when you are in a relationship that you want
to last? --Cyndi
What
is Fair?
What
is fair? To me, the 'rules' of threesomes is whatever is agreeable
to all parties involved. This usually requires a compromise, one that
your boyfriend obviously isn't willing to make. Interesting. . .
It
would be interesting to know if your boyfriend would actually go for
it if he could penetrate the other woman. Surely he knows about your
jealous streak, perhaps he doesn't want to suffer the wrath. Your
jealousy may not be as severe if he doesn't penetrate her during the
encounter, but I suspect your little green monster will surface nonetheless.
It takes a very secure person to be able to see their partner with
another person totally naked, making out, performing orally and all
the other things that will happen during this encounter. Are you really
up to this?
Do
you fear that you'll lose your boyfriend if you don't do a threesome?
If so, this could be the root of your jealousy. Do you sense that
your boyfriend can never be satisfied with just one woman? Or are
you just insanely jealous for no reason whatsoever? Oftentimes jealousy
is a manifestation of insecurity. You say you're afraid of a threesome
because he may like her more than he likes you. That, my dear, is
simply a fact of life and has nothing to do with a threesome. That
could happen in a grocery store. Relationships must be built on trust.
I
believe that jealousy is a wasted emotion and serves no purpose whatsoever.
If you can't trust your partner, then what are you doing with him?
Why are you torturing yourself (and him)?
My
advice is to avoid complicating matters by engaging in a threesome
until you've got this jealousy thing under control--meaning that you
no longer experience that emotion. It can't be something that
you merely contain deep within yourself, it has to be a total change
in your outlook regarding your partner. Relationships must be built
on trust. Threesomes are usually the province of casual relationships,
where sex is for fun and emotional ties are not strong. Within the
context of a relationship threesomes are the sexual equivalent of
juggling knives: you must trust yourself and trust your partner, or
someone will get hurt.
And
if you do fear that you'll lose your boyfriend if you don't do a threesome,
then you'll find out just how much he loves you. Consider it an acid
test.
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Dear
Miss Kitten:
I
am depressed and crying for no reason, and other times happy and horny
all day long. I have been in a relationship with a girl for about
9 months now and have enjoyed a very active sex life. After a few
'mishaps' we decided to use both the condom and pill during sex. The
pill sent my girlfriend's emotions flying, sometimes. She has been
stable for the last 3 months, however, during the last 4 weeks her
sex drive has ceased to exist. This is very out of character for her,
could this be another side effect of the pill? And if so is it easy
to switch? --Anonymouse
Crazy
Kat
I'm
confused. You said that you're depressed and crying for no reason,
then you said that your girlfriend's emotions are flying. So who is
it that's having the emotional problems?
Let
me address the issue about the pill: Yes, the pill can cause mood
swings. It can also cause clinical depression and a loss of sexual
appetite. I know because I experience these symptoms myself. I've
tried many different kinds of pills, as well as the Depo-Provera shot,
and all of which caused me great distress. I don't take hormones any
longer because of this reason. The pill is definitely the best protection
available, but using a condom, diaphragm and spermicide together are
nearly as good.
This
is not to say that your girlfriend needs to quit taking the pill.
You said that her mood swings have stabilized, so your problem is
the lack of sexual appetite. This could be a result of the pill, or
it could be something else.
Why
are you depressed and crying? Is there something else going on in
your relationship that's effecting your sex life? A number of things
could cause a decline in sexual activity: stress at work, school,
family problems, or troubles in your relationship.
Before
insisting that your girlfriend try another pill, or stop taking the
pill, analyze what's going on in both of your lives to determine if
there's something going on that needs to be resolved. You need to
get to the root of your depression. Don't be afraid to seek a psychiatrist
if necessary--they're really not as scary as you think.
Good
luck!
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Dear
Miss Kitten:
I
am a 20 yr old male who is what you might call "tongue tied,"
meaning my whole tongue is attached to the bottom of my mouth. I can't
really stick my tongue out of my mouth at all. This hasn't been an
issue yet, I'm still in college and just focusing on my career. But...I
have started to wonder how this would affect me sexually...there's
nothing I can really do about this, is there? --Unknown
Not-so-rough
Tongue
I
don't know what your specific problem is, but I can guess. The ability
to stick out the tongue is a genetic trait. Try it with your friends--you'll
discover that some folks can stick the tongue way out, curl it into
a tube, or twist it around, while others cannot. Quite interesting,
isn't it?
Well,
not for those who are concerned about performing orally. There's really
nothing that can be done about this genetic trait. You can try practicing
sticking out your tongue, or moving it in different ways. Like any
muscle, you may be able to train it to stretch a little farther or
become more flexible.
But
don't forget about your other body parts. The entire body is a sexual
fiesta. When performing orally, you can use your lips, your nose,
your fingers and your breath, in very interesting and exotic ways.
To overcome your tongue handicap, you will need to get more creative
with your other body parts. You may also want to investigate
sex toys. There are numerous sex toys that simulate cunnilingus and
are quite fun.
I
don't see this as a problem that can't be overcome. Sex is more than
the ability to use your tongue--Good luck!
WAIT!
Miss Kitten was corrected by a reader on this subject:
In
actuality, the flesh under the tongue, known as the 'frenulum' sometimes
adheres to the floor of the oral cavity in young children, who then
keep this unusual anatomy into adulthood. It's usually no problem
- the individual learns to speak normally with slightly limited range
of tongue motion, but commonly becomes concerned as a young adult
confronting sexual issues. One
of my young troops came to my aid station when I was assigned to a
unit in Germany with just such a situation. It turns out that a doctor
can, usually with a minimum of discomfort and effort, snip the restraining
flesh away, and the tongue will then be able to exercise its full
range of motion. Incidentally, this situation can also occur in uncircumcised
men, where the foreskin adheres in places to the head of the penis,
often resulting in pain for the male during intercourse - fortunately
it is just as correctable! Thanks for a great site, just my 2 cents
worth! --Doc Trent
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Dear
Miss Kitten:
I
am not very intimate and too quiet. I was wondering if you have any
advice on how to meet women. What do I say? Do women like dirty talking?
Maybe you can tell me about your best experience with men? What lines
worked or what approaches techniques worked on you? Thanks for the
help being more frisky! --Victor
Fraidy
Cat to Frisky Lion
Alas
my dear kitten, there are no rules on this subject. What works for
one feline will totally turn off another. Some felines like aggressive
males, while others like the quiet types. There are no specific lines
that work. In fact, relying on "lines" usually turns off
a potential mate. They're usually just too contrived.
What
can you say to a potential mate? It seems the best method is to strike
a balance between being attentive, but not too attentive. Being playful,
but not silly. Being concerned, but not paranoid. Being loving, but
not controlling. Being interested, but not desperate.
Does
this make sense? If you try too hard, you'll appear too anxious, too
needy. The best thing to do is to relax, enjoy your life without a
mate, and not to worry about meeting someone. Most people meet their
mates when they're not looking, so relax! Get to know yourself and
to like yourself. When you do that, the felines take notice.
Good
luck!
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Dear
Miss Kitten:
How
can I distinguish or differentiate between a virgin pussy and not-so-virgin
pussy? I'm talking about the shape, the parts, everything, so I'll
be able to know if any girl tells me that she's virgin or if she's
lying.
P.S.
Can you send me any pictures that show a virgin pussy or any websites?
--Concerned
A
brand new kitten still has claws. . .
The
first thing you must do is ask yourself why you need to know this.
Why is it important to you? You cannot have a rewarding and fantastic
sex life if you are adhering to Old Testament values. The two are
mutually exclusive. Neither are lovers to be considered thoroughbred
breed stock. If you're not sure if you're the father, get a DNA test.
You must also ask yourself why you don't trust your lover to tell
you the truth. If you find that the answer to both these questions
are very similar you're on the right track. Strictly speaking, trust
is not necessary for good sex, but it is for a good life. If you can't
trust the person you are sleeping with it's time for a new arrangement.
You're cheating yourself out of the most important bonds of your life.
Not to mention obsessing over archaic trailer-park trivia. Virginity
is ignorance, nothing more. A virgin is someone who has not yet experienced
sex, one of life's greatest pleasures. Nothing more than that. Yes,
the first time is an emotional rite-of-passage, but beyond that its
importance wanes. A preoccupation with gibberish such as 'purity'
and 'innocence' is living a dangerous fantasy, one neurotic, the other
infantile, and neither can ever be fulfilled. As for virgins, we all
start that way, just as at some time in our lives we taste our first
sushi and ride in our first taxi cab. With a little luck no one will
have to remain a virgin who doesn't want to, and with a little luck
all will benefit from an experienced lover who will introduce them
to many new and wonderful delights.
In the meantime, the way to tell a virgin pussy is the same as the
way to tell a virgin penis. And no, I don't have pictures.
Back to top
Dear
Miss Kitten:
First
let me say I think your GREAT! I read your archives and decided to
email you with my furry little dilemma. I first develop an
odor after giving birth to my second child. Sort of " fishy"
and my secretions tasted bitter unlike the usual scent and taste
which to me was nice and sweet. I am very clean about myself. I shower
daily, and I wash my vagina after I use the toilet everytime I void.
I went to my MD. and found out that I had "gardneralla"
a bacterial infection. This lives normally in the vagina but
isn't usually a problem. Well I took the course of medication and
so on, its been four years and this thing is still with me. It keeps
coming back. I can't keep taking antibiotics it will become resistant
to them. The problem is that I am a very sexual woman and I want it
daily with my tiger, but I don't because I am very conscious of my
odor. I love to be licked by him but I don't let him often because
I think I taste awful and smell like fish! I have tried douching I
don't like it because it strips my vagina (I try not to do it too
often because of this). I use perfumed lotion around my groins and
on my pelvic area to try to tame it. Is this bacteria possibly
living on my tigers skin and reinfecting me? My MD said it can't be
spread by sex. So my man hasn't been tested. He isn't circumcised
and I know that he is conscious of his hygiene like me. --His
cat for life
Fish
Breath
This
is quite the dilemma, and I'm so sorry you've suffered with this for
four years. That is completely unacceptable, and I think your physician
has done you a disservice.
Gardneralla
Vaginalis is also known as "Bacterial Vaginosis". I'm not
a doctor, and I advise you to seek a second opinion from another doctor.
But let me tell you what I discovered on the web and in the Merck
Manual:
There's
some controversy over whether or not the bacteria can be spread sexually.
Your tiger may indeed by infected by this bacteria and be completely
unaware. Men often do not experience any negative symptoms. The Merck
Manual says that relapse is common from reinfection from a sex partner,
so I'd be wary of a doctor who adamantly states that the bacteria
cannot be transmitted sexually.
I
also found conflicting information about the dangerousness of this
condition ranging from that it's harmless to being linked to miscarriages
and uterine dysfunction.
What
to do?
First,
contact another physician. Have both you and your tiger tested for
the bacteria. Although the common treatment is antibotics, there are
topical treatments available as well. You and your tiger should avoid
sex until you both have been treated for the bacteria. Be suspicious
if the physician dismisses your concerns--you've suffered for four
years which is far too long. See yet another physician until you find
one that takes your condition seriously.
If
you have anal sex, have the anal sex after the vaginal sex, not
the other way around. Never ever allow your partner to penetrate your
vagina after penetrating your anus. If he inserts his penis into your
anus and then wants to insert it into your vagina, he must wash his
penis with soap and water first. (When washing, lather up underneath
the foreskin and rub the lather around while counting to 15 before
rinsing to make sure all the bacteria is washed away. Then lather
again, count to 15 and rinse to get any remaining bacteria.) Here
are some more instructions:
- *When
going to the bathroom, always wipe from front to back. Do not allow
the toilet paper to touch your anus and then your vagina.
- *Wash
your genitals AND your anus by lathering and counting to 15, then
repeating. Have your tiger do the same.
- *Avoid
douching and so-called feminine products. Avoid using tampons until
symptoms subside.
- *Use
a condom during sex.
- *Avoid
tight clothing. After bathing, do not put on underwear until your
genital area is completly dry.
- *Eat
a well-balanced diet to maintain a healthy pH. Try eating yogurt.
(Health nuts claim it helps maintain bacterial balance in the vagina.
Can't hurt, right?)
Want
to know more? Check out a few articles on the subject I found on the
web:
And
try searching on several search engines for more information on the
subject. Good luck!
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Dear
Miss Kitten:
I
have been dating my boyfriend for over a year. For the past six months,
I have been sleeping with my boyfriend's best friend. I would fool
around with the best friend, feel guilty, tell my boyfriend, get yelled
at and then get taken back. Recently my boyfriend moved across the
country to attend grad school (I am still an undergraduate). We had
patched things up, I had been faithful for a while and we were starting
to think about marriage. But then I cheated on him again with his
friend. I got in a big fight with his friend, realized what a selfish
person I was being and told my boyfriend what had happened. He dumped
me again, but this time I think he is serious. He says he still
loves me, but he doesn't want to get hurt again and doesn't know if
he can trust me again. I am not speaking to his friend (neither is
he by now) and I do not ever intend to cheat again. I can't believe
I was this stupid- my boyfriend is a wonderful friend, a good lover
and just all around the nicest guy I have ever dated. How can I get
him back and get him to someday trust me again? --Selfish
and Stupid in Pasadena CA
This
cat is a real dog. . .
Honey,
let's face it, you've been a dog. If I were your boyfriend, I would
not take you back. You say you realize that you've been selfish, but
you said that before and then cheated on him again. Why should he
believe you?
First,
let me say this: When someone cheats on their significant other (SO),
they need to make a decision. They have to decide if they are going
to be faithful to their SO from that point forward, or if they are
going to sleep around. If the answer is faithful, then they don't
do it again. . .EVER! If the answer is sleep around, then they break
up with their SO so they can be single. You can't have it both ways.
The
answer is NEVER, EVER tell your significant other that you cheated
on them. That, my dear, is the definition of selfish. You wanted
to relieve yourself of your guilt, and all you did was hurt your boyfriend.
It was very selfish of you to want to relieve yourself of this guilt.
You deserved to suffer with the guilt! Your boyfriend did not.
I
think you should leave your boyfriend alone. Let him go find a girl
who loves him and wants to be his one and only, and let him go find
a friend who's decent enough not to sleep with his girlfriend.
Your
next step is to think about what you've done, and what you can do
to become a better person. To cheat on your boyfriend is one thing,
but to sleep with his best friend, is low-down. You and his friend
acted like real assholes.
Another
thing to think about is that if you did really love your boyfriend,
you wouldn't have slept with his friend again and again, for six months!
As human beings, we are in charge of our actions, we have the ability
to say no. You didn't have the discipline and self-respect to do that.
You need to work on that.
But
leave your boyfriend alone. Don't call him, don't try to be friends
with him. Let the poor guy nurse his wounds and get on with his life.
You screwed the pooch on this one.
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Dear
Miss Kitten:
I
am a healthy, relatively in-touch with myself kind of gal of 36 and
am having fun exploring some of my sexual horizons. I am seeing an
older man who I like a lot and we are sexually exploring together.
But we have this kind of bizarre competition thing during sex. He
really wants me to have orgasm after orgasm, he really wants to pleasure
me a lot. Yes, this is great but I feel a lot of pressure to have
orgasms all the time with him and sometimes I just don't want to or
can't. And he gets really bummed out. I feel that my erotic/sexual
self is very multi-dimensional and that an orgasm is not the end-all
or the ultimate trip- getting there is. I really get off on the journey,
not the destination. I have explained this to him but he still wants
to see me come again and again. What should I do? --Trippin
in Minnesota
Overachieving
Tom. . .
Your
tomcat is quite the overachiever, isn't he? What motivates the overachiever?
A tiny little voice inside him that says "Don't be a loser. Don't
be a loser. Be a man." Some would say it comes from low self-esteem,
but I say it comes from "slightly" or "momentary"
low self-esteem. It's a good thing, because it makes them strive to
succeed.
So
what do you do when your Tom is an overachiever in bed? The only thing
you can do: Talk to him. Tell him very clearly that you are feeling
pressured to do something that sometimes you don't want to, or that
you can't. Tell him VERY CLEARLY that you enjoy sex with him no matter
what. Be sure to tell him in very clear terms how you feel.
This
is the biggest complaint I get from tomcats. They don't understand
female-speak. You must explain in plain English (or whatever language
you two speak). Don't expect him to read between the lines, or to
read your mind. Tell him everything you feel and exactly what you
want from him. Be kind and loving when you do it, there's no need
to be a jerk.
If,
after you explain your position he still pressures you to come again
and again, you've done all you can to change his tactics and it hasn't
worked. You may have to fake orgasms. (Listen up you tomcats: This
is the precise reason that faking orgasms is so prevalent. You complain
about women faking it, but then you stay on our backs about having
orgasms. Women are built differently! We do not have testicles and
seminal fluid. Don't expect us to come every time. Just make sure
we've got a smile on our face and you're doing fine.)
So
that's that. Good luck!
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Dear
Miss Kitten:
I'm
a 18 year old girl and I noticed that my boyfriend (who is 20) seems
to have a lot of stamina in bed, he can last for 30 to 120 minutes,
disregarding any fore- or afterplay. I read somewhere that 15 minutes
is average for this kind of activity, but this is what he calls a
"quickie". Some of my girlfriends report of only 5 to 10
minutes. Is it my fault or is something wrong with him? Don't get
me wrong, I have a lot of fun, and I'm completely aware that sex isn't
about numbers, but I'm still curious (and a little worried): What's
the average really?? --Maggie
Young
Toms Can Be Fun. . .
You
say you're aware that sex isn't about numbers, but you're curious
(and a little worried)? Sounds to me a bit contradictory, wouldn't
you agree?
Anyway,
no need to worry. Don't give it a second thought. There are no real
"averages." All men are different, and each man is different
in different times of his life. You are a young woman and your tom
cat is a young man. Just enjoy it. Many older men will tell you that
repeat performances are harder and harder to come by as they age.
(That's not to say that the sex isn't great! Sex is great no matter
what your age, and some people would argue that when you're older
you know what you want and appreciate sex a lot more!)
I
highly suggest you spend your valuable time doing something other
than worrying about this. There's nothing to worry about. UNLESS the
issue isn't really about how long your boyfriend takes to finish,
and the problem is that YOU're not satisfied with the sex, so it has
become a long, exhaustive experience.
If
you're not enjoying the sex, (you did mention "disregarding any
fore- or afterplay. . .) you need to tell your tom exactly what you
want. Don't make him read your mind. You'll never get what you want
in this world by making people read your mind. Speak up and I bet
he responds.
Enjoy
each other!
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Miss
Kitten got the following
question that she can't answer! Can you help?
Miss
Kitten just doesn't surf the net enough to know every web site out
there, so maybe you've come across a few in your travels that can
help this man. Please send web site addresses to misskitten@sex12cd.com
and she'll post them right here..
Dear
Miss Kitten:
I'm
44 and looking for a woman 10 or 15 years older than me here in chicago.
do you know of any web sites that have older women for younger men
to date in my area? --Rich
Waiting.
. .
When I get some URLs, I'll post them here.
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Dear
Miss Kitten:
I'm
young and have masturbated many times. I haven't orgasmed though.
I'm female and know what I like. I was just wondering if it's natural
for the first time orgasming to be hard to reach? I mean. I've tried
a lot and it gets so intense that it almost hurts and I have to stop.
Is that normal? --Beginner
Catnip
everywhere, and nary a bite to eat. . .
I
remember when I was a kitten, and orgasms seemed so mysterious and
so far away. It's hard to know when the orgasm occurs. It all feels
so good, and there's no neon sign that goes off that says "Orgasm,
arriving now!"
It's
good that you're masturbating. It's the best way to understand your
body and to discover the pleasures of orgasm. An orgasm, technically,
is a climax when your vaginal muscles tighten and spasm. Often, lubrication
increases dramatically, almost like a flood, as well.
So
now that you know the physical symptoms, be aware that the emotional
and mental symptoms can vary greatly. Orgasm is not required for great
sex. Sometimes you'll find that the pleasure is so intense but no
orgasm is achieved.
Don't
worry so much about the orgasm part. In those times when it gets so
intense you want to stop, try slowing down and going easy on yourself.
Relax and try thinking of something else. When the intensity dies
down, slowly pick up the speed again. It takes practice and there's
no rush.
P.S.,
guys do this all the time to avoid ejaculating too soon. They think
of something not-so-sexual to slow it down a bit.
You're
young and there's no deadline for you to have an orgasm. Relax and
enjoy the sexual pleasure, continue to masturbate and it'll happen.
Don't worry about it. As with many things in life, the best things
happen when you least expect it.
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Dear
Miss Kitten:
My
girlfriend and I have been dating for 5 years. I ask her to talk to
me about her having sex with other women while we have sex. She will
most often times do so, and has on many times said she would actually
have sex with another woman if I did not say anything to anyone. After
we have sex she says nothing more about this, but always brings up
to me that women hit on her and ask her what "she's into".
I would like very much to have her be with another woman and she has
offered to go to strip clubs many times. What advice can you give
me on how to get my girlfriend to go through with this, and do you
think she is bisexual or interested in acting on this considering
her behavior? --Anonymouse
Feline
to Feline. . .
This
one's very difficult to predict because I don't know your feline at
all. My gut reaction is that if you've been together for 5 years and
it hasn't happened yet, don't hold your breath.
Her
desire to have sex with another woman may just be a fantasy that she
likes to entertain in her head, that gets her hot, but one that she
doesn't really want to act out. Or perhaps she's a little shy and
finds it difficult to meet someone who would go to bed with the two
of you.
What
can you do?
Well,
the next time she offers to go to the strip club, take her up on it.
Don't pressure her if she chickens out. If she chickens out more than
once, you'll know this is just a mental fantasy for her and you may
as well leave it at that.
However,
going to a strip club does not a threesome make. Do you know a woman
who's willing? Is your girlfriend attracted to her? I'd try hanging
out with this woman, as friends, and see if things develop. If nothing
develops, don't sweat it. You and your girlfriend still have great
sex, right?
The
bottom line is that you can't force the issue. You can only open up
the opportunities and let nature takes its course. Your girlfriend
will have to make the final decision. Everyone in this threesome has
to be a completely willing participant. Don't make your girlfriend
feel guilty or pressured, or that you won't love her if she doesn't
do this.
Be
warned, though. If you suspect that your girlfriend is bisexual, or
a lesbian, you may find yourself without a girlfriend. If this happens,
look at it as a good thing. I always say that I'd rather the truth
come out sooner than later.
Good
luck!
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Dear
Miss Kitten:
My
wife and I are both bisexual. Our closest friends are both bi as well.
So far so good? NOT! He is bi and his wife doesn't know it. We have
talked about it all together but not to where he has admitted it openly
to his wife, only mentioned he is somewhat curious. A couple of weeks
ago we all engaged in a foursome, I pulled out of my wife and offered
myself to my friend and he accepted it, his wife turned around and
saw our side line action and freaked out. How can she learn to accept
his desires? Is it possible? He doesn't have a problem with her doing
me or my wife. Got a suggestion? --Anonymouse
Trouble
in the Pride. . .
Here's
the score. You and your wife have to butt out. This is an issue between
your friend and his wife. This is a marital problem.
An
issue such as bisexuality is something that should be discussed before
marriage. Your friend neglected to do this, and now he has to clean
up his mess. It was very inconsiderate of him to spring it upon her
during a foursome. This really could be a justifiable reason for divorce.
It's going to be tough-going for them if their marriage survives.
What
he did was to hide a very important part of himself from his wife.
It doesn't matter how bisexual you are, or he and your wife are. The
issue is that his wife is obviously uncomfortable with it. You
and your wife cannot change that.
I
suggest that you and your wife keep your thoughts and your comments
to yourself. Your friend's wife has a right to her aversions. You
will really hurt and anger her if you take sides in this matter. Both
of you have to remain neutral while your friend and his wife work
on saving their marriage.
They
will probably need marriage counseling to help them recover from this
breach of trust.
You
may feel a little guilty. Unless you knew beforehand that his wife
didn't know he was bisexual, you have nothing to feel guilty about.
If you did know this, then shame on you for causing such trouble.
Next time, encourage your friend to be honest with his wife and don't
get involved.
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Dear
Miss Kitten:
I
am 19 and very curious about bisexuality but my boyfriend doesn't
know this. I look at porn and it turns me on to see women on
women. I also fantasize about having a one night stand with a female.
Will I grow out of this? --Lioness
Curious
Kitten. . .
I
think it's very natural for men and women to be curious about sexuality
in all its forms. Most people are restricted by their belief systems
to act upon their curiosities until they are overwhelmed by them.
There is no way for me to know whether you are at this point or not,
or to know if your background prevents you from exploring your fantasies.
I
do think it's safe to say that you won't grow out of this, but that
you will either experiment with bisexuality or internalize your fantasies
and maintain the status quo. Fortunately for you, you are female,
and that makes you freer than men to explore your curiosities. A male
friend of mine said once: "It's okay for women to sleep with
other women, so long as they still like to sleep with men. But men
sleep with other men, no way!" So much for equality.
You
are only 19, and you are so young to be tying yourself down to a serious
relationship, male or female. Please take some friendly advice from
Miss Kitten: Focus on your future, whether it be finishing college
or preparing for a career, and have a little fun in your spare time.
Before you know it you'll be in your thirties and will hardly remember
your old boyfriends/girlfriends and will be trying to figure out how
to live the rest of your life. Don't worry so much about your curiosity
and your sexuality. Try to relax and nature will take its course.
And
listen to Miss Kitten: No matter what anyone says, homosexuality is
not evil or disgusting. If you relax and focus on other things in
life, and then find that you are gay, don't fret. Buy a KD Lang CD
and feel good about yourself.
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to top
Dear
Miss Kitten:
I
am a good looking 18 yr old female, who has never had sex for various
motives. One of the most important is that I just haven't found the
right person. Though there is someone with which I have seriously
been considering to have sex with, he is a great man whom I have known
for 9 months now, though our relationship has always been as great
friends. A week ago, in one of our conversations it came out that
we are both attracted sexually, even though we are friends, and for
a couple of reasons I am sure that nothing else will happen between
us. We have both been talking about the matter, though I am not too
sure of what I should do, for which I am here writing to you now,
in seek of advice. What should I do?? Should we go with what we feel,
desire and want, or what?? It would be of GREAT help if you could
give me some good advice. Thank you for reading my letter. --Anonymouse
Cat
and Mouse. . .
You
indicate that you are sure nothing else will happen between you and
your friend. Then why are you writing me? If it's really a done deal,
then it's a done deal.
Ah
ha! It sounds as if it may not.
Is
there a chance you may have sex with this fellow? Please understand,
sex will change the dynamics of your friendship. Sometimes sex deepens
a friendship, sometimes into love. Other times sex strains
a friendship and you lose a friend.
There
is always a balance in any sexual relationship. One person always
feels more strongly than the other. One person always has a little
more of the power and control in the relationship, while the other
person is a little more submissive. (Don't listen to any of those
love junkies, listen to Miss Kitten: this imbalance is always present
and often shifting.)
Whenever
the balance is out of whack, when one person feels much, much more
strongly than the other, giving the other person more power and control
than is healthy, the relationship is in danger.
Young
women have a tendency to blow things out of proportion after having
sex. Sex causes you to experience strong emotions, and young women
often interpret these emotions as wedding bells, or at least shack-up
bells. Young men often feel much less emotion after sex. Once they
ejaculate, the conquest is over and if they don't feel respect and
kindness toward the female, they will begin to feel trapped by her
extreme emotions.
A
mature woman keeps her head together and maintains her cool. She understands
that sex ignites all kinds of emotions, and keeps them in perspective.
There
are many gradations of sexual emotion ranging from the purely recreational
to the most sacred expression of love. Maturity means you are able
to recognize and to accept where the relationship is on that scale,
and not expect what isn't real.
If
you go through with the sex, understand that you take a risk. Are
you mature enough to deal with the consequences? Is he? Only you can
know if it's worth the risk. For Miss Kitten, life is a risk, so don't
listen to me. Listen to your heart.
And
don't forget to use a condom.
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Dear
Miss Kitten:
It's
rare that someone stumps me, but a reader has! I sought help from
you cool cats out there and chose the three best answers. Here's the
question I got:
In
the movie "Stepmom", Julia Robert's character refers to
a sexual activity as "snow blowing". What is snow blowing?
Why does she describe it as "incredible"? How can I learn
to give this to my sweetie? --John
Let
it Snow. . .
Here
are the top three answers (according to me):
1.
I hope that scriptwriters will get their facts
and terminology straight in the future, in order to avoid the roar
of whispers from people turning to each other to ask "What's
'snow blowing'?" Whoever wrote "snow blowing" into
the script made a mistake. It's actually called "snowballing".
There's a story behind this... a rather silly one. In the movie "Clerks",
Dante, a convenience store clerk, is being visited by his girlfriend
Veronica. A customer walks in to buy a pack of cigarettes and immediately
recognizes Veronica from college. They start talking about the old
days and he asks how her friend is doing etc. (This is not verbatim.
I wish I had the script.)
After he leaves, Dante asks "Who was that?" "Oh, that's
just Snowball."
"Snowball? How'd he get that name?" "Um... whenever
he'd get a blow job, he wanted the cum to be spit into his mouth.
It's called snowballing."
Anyway, that's "snowballing" and it would only work, true
to definition, if your sweetie is a man. (And if so, snowball
each other!) If not, you can always be the recipient.
2.
Is this an acid-test to separate out your dirtiest-minded
fans or what? I believe snowblowing (or snowballing, as I have heard
it) is when a man ejaculates into one woman's mouth (typically in
the context of a threesome) and then she spits it into the other woman's
mouth, as part of a sultry kiss, one would hope. I suppose it could
also apply with just two partners as well, assuming the man would
be receptive to recycling, as it were. And of course, let's not forget
that it could be a threesome to include either two or three men, since
we want to be politically correct, but I would vote for the two chicks
and a guy scenario, allowing you only two guesses as to whom the lucky
stud would be.
3.
Having oral sex with your mouth filled with snow.
So
there you have it kitties! You take your pick!
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Dear
Miss Kitten:
I
am a 31 year old single male who has an intense foot and high heel
shoe fetish. I can't find any women who can help me with my fantasy.
I have tried 900#'s, personal datelines, chat rooms and message boards.
Even Yahoo foot fetish clubs have brought me no luck. I crave toe
sucking and arch licking and my most erotic fantasy....foot masturbation.
Please help. --unknown
Toe-to-toe
Do
you have a girlfriend? Have you told her you'd like to do this? What
was her response?
You
say you have tried 900 #s, personal datelines and the like. All of
these vehicles are not likely to get you a date with a real live woman.
It's difficult to meet someone online who lives nearby or is willing
to travel to meet you. And then if you do meet, it takes a while before
you can get to the foot fantasy stage.
If
you don't have a lover, you're really asking an age-old question:
how do I meet someone? If you were asking me "How do I get my
girlfriend to indulge my fantasy?" I would say to talk to her
about it. See what she thinks about it. If she's dead set against
it and thinks it's perverted, she may not be liberal enough for you
and you need to find another girlfriend or live without the fantasy
being fulfilled.
If
you are asking me "How do I get a woman to indulge my fantasy?"
I would say: You need to get a lover first. You have to find someone
willing to be intimate with you. You can hire a lover (although this
is illegal in most states), or you can get one the traditional way:
wooing and romancing a feline until she becomes your lover. This usually
takes time and commitment. You have to desire the woman for more than
her feet. The feet are the cherry on top.
If
you are asking me "How do I meet someone?" there are many
ways to do this. People around the world try personal ads, go to nightclubs,
join singles groups, volunteer for charities, go to parties, hang
out in bookstores, whatever. All of these require you to get out of
the house and mingle with people. The real kicker is that when you're
looking for someone, you often look desperate and that's a turnoff
for most people. Just get out and try to have a good time. Get some
interests other than sex. Go to happy hour with your co-workers.
Get out of the house! Don't worry about the sex, it will come with
time.
Again
(sorry, readers), I must ask this question: Can you achieve orgasm
without the fantasy? Do you require feet to be involved in order for
you to be aroused? If so, this fetish has become an obsession, and
you may need help.
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Dear
Miss Kitten:
My
wife and I want to have a threesome with another woman. The problem
is finding the right woman. How do we approach her with the invitation?
--Unknown
Expanding
the Pride
Miss
Kitten was once approached by a couple, so I can speak on this subject
with some authority. At least I can tell you how NOT to approach the
woman.
I
was a waitress in a restaurant, and I was serving a young attractive
couple. They both kept telling me how attractive they thought I was
throughout the evening. When I gave them the check, they left their
name and address, and a note saying when and where to meet them. Of
course, I didn't take them up on the offer. The reason: paranoia.
We live in a time where accepting a friendly offer can get you chopped
up into little pieces and buried in the basement.
So
how do you approach a potential pride-mate? I would first spend time
with the woman on a friendly level, getting to know her personally.
Never ask a stranger to do something as intimate as sleep with you
and your wife (unless she's a professional). Once you get to know
the woman as a friend, you'll have an idea of whether or not she's
into such activity. If you think she would be agreeable, ask her in
a straightforward manner. Beware! You risk losing a friend if you've
misjudged her.
Have
you considered joining a swingers group? This is perhaps the easiest
way to find like-minded individuals like yourselves. Every city has
swingers, no matter how big or small, mark Miss Kitten's meow. I'd
try searching the web or visiting my local newspaper stand or bookstore
that carries alternative materials. I know our state has a magazine
for swingers.
Also
consider placing a personals ad in your local paper that carries such
ads. When you arrange to meet someone, make sure you and your wife
meet the person in a public place such as a restaurant and spend some
time getting to know the person before proceeding to a more intimate
level. This is like dating: and Miss Kitten has rules for first dates.
(Remember dates are total strangers until you get to know them. This
takes some time, preferably 4-5 dates.)
1.
Never give a stranger your home phone number or address. Have them
call you at work or use an answering service.
2.
Always meet your date at a public place, such as a restaurant. Never
have them pick you up at your house. Don't tell them where you live.
3.
Always tell a friend or family member where you'll be on your date
and who you're with.
4.
Don't tell your date everything about yourself. Build the mystery
and protect yourself.
Sound
paranoid? Well, think of it this way: If you don't want to see them
anymore, you don't have to worry about them calling you at home all
the time, or dropping by your house unexpected, or worse, stalking
you and following you around. It happens all the time. Better safe
than sorry.
And
finally, you could always hire a professional. Try www.escort.com. Of course, they provide "companions".
. .the rest is up to you. Again, the dating rules apply here: meet
them in a public place. They'll probably insist upon it.
Back
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Dear
Miss Kitten:
My
girlfriend is a virgin, but she is showing signs that she wants me
to take her virginity. I have never done this before, and I've heard
it's painful for women, and I want to know what precautions I should
take? Do you have any ideas? --Anxious
in Kansas
Feline
Newbie
I
am so pleased that you are sensitive enough to ask this question.
This tells me that you'll be just fine. You see, the only thing you
need is sensitivity to this situation. Every single women experiences
her first time (unless she's a nun, I guess), so you have no need
to fear. We've been doing it a long time.
Some
women experience pain, others do not. Some women bleed, others do
not. There is no way to know how your feline will fare until you actually
have sex. My advice is to be gentle and encourage her to tell you
how she's feeling. She'll let you know if you're moving too fast.
Make sure you have the whole evening to take your time and spend a
lot of time getting her primed and ready to go.
Regardless
of a woman's virginity status, she needs to be properly aroused to
avoid pain. The reason is because we need to be fully lubricated.
Sometimes even though we're horny, we do not get lubricated enough
to have comfortable sex. You should always have K-Y Jelly available.
(Don't use Vaseline, please--only water-soluble lubricants. . .) If
your feline tells you it's hurting, try rubbing some lubricant on
your penis before inserting. I also highly recommend lubricated latex
condoms. . .Miss Kitten only advocates safe sex.
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Dear
Miss Kitten:
I
do masturbation and enjoy it a lot! I do it differently using various
ways.......is masturbation healthy? I'm a 21 old guy.
I do it by rubbing my penis against my bed while sleeping, and by
hand (rare). I do it weekly...please tell me if it is healthy. Say
the truth.....if you can disprove the masturbation myth raised by
many people. --unknown
Cat
Scratch Fever
What
masturbation myth? The one that says you'll go blind or insane? That
is a ridiculous myth people in the Victorian age liked to tell their
children because they were terrified of their own sexual power.
Thank
God we live in the 20th (soon to be 21st) century!
Absolutely,
positively, masturbation will not hurt you. It is healthy.
Pleasing
yourself once a week is completely healthy. Many men and women masturbate
daily, even two or three times a day and maintain healthy relationships
with other people, hold down jobs and are productive citizens.
The
only exception to this is when a person masturbates so much, or obsesses
about masturbation so often, that they cannot function in their lives.
If masturbation becomes more important than sex with another human
being, or a person loses their family, friends, job, etc., because
all they do is stay home and masturbate, that person has a problem
and needs psychiatric intervention. (But masturbation isn't really
the issue in this case, it's crippling obsessive-compulsive behavior.)
Once
a week is perfectly healthy. Regard masturbation as time to yourself.
Sexual activity, whether it be alone or with another person is very
therapeutic. I like to think of it as meditation, a time when you
turn off your brain and focus only on your body, what you're feeling.
Enjoy this time to yourself without any worries.
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Dear
Miss Kitten:
I
recently asked my new girlfriend if she would shave her pussy, and
she did, but, she seems to be having a problem getting it all. We
both like it this way but it seems like a lot of work for her and
we are not sure we will be able to continue. Do you have any suggestions?
--Jim
and Lois
From
Persian to Sphynx
Just
how do all those porn stars manage their manes? I tried to find someone
to answer this burning question, but no one replied. Here are my suggestions.
Let me know if they work:
1.
Sit in warm water for a while before shaving. Allow the skin to soften
before shaving.
2.
Turn the heat up. Shaving is difficult when you have goosebumps.
3.
Trim the hair with clippers before shaving to the skin. This will
make shaving easier. Shave regularly. . .don't let the hair grow back,
or you'll have to trim it again.
4.
Get the man in your life to help. Tough to see around those corners!
5.
Use a good shaving cream or oil. I found one on the web that looks
good: www.totalshavingsolution.com.
6.
Make sure the razor blade is sharp and not rusted. The blade needs
to be clean.
7.
Try an electric razor to minimize rashes and nicks.
If
none of this helps, try trimming the hair close to the skin as opposed
to shaving. This will still increase sensitivity by baring much of
the skin, without the danger of nicks and cuts. Good luck!
Attention!
Miss Kitten got some further advice for shaving from a fan. Here it
is!
Shaving
is okay but after a day, we all know the velcro effect that follows
and itching. I would suggest try eppilating. This takes a bit longer
but is far more effective than shaving. The hairs stay away much longer,
and when they grow back they are not as hard as when you shave them.
Just make sure you eppilate correctly so it doesn't hurt when you
pull out the hair. You also don't have the risk of cutting yourself
with the blade.
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Dear
Miss Kitten:
My
boyfriend likes to do vaginal "fisting" with me, which is
putting his entire hand up inside my pussy. We both reach another
state of consciousness when he does this, so we really enjoy it. He
uses a latex glove and lubricant so his hand will fit all the way
up my cunt without a lot of struggling. But after he does this, I
notice his latex glove has blood on it when he takes his hand out
of my pussy. And my cunt is sore for a good week after fisting. Is
it safe for him to fist my pussy even though there's blood and pain
when he's done? We don't want to give up fisting because we get such
a high off of it, however, it concerns me that he could be damaging
my pussy. --Name
withheld
Paw
Paws
This
is such a serious question, that I consulted with a medical specialist.
It is rare that Miss Kitten will tell someone to stop doing something
that pleasures them, but you have to stop this practice.
You
can and may have already damaged yourself. You can puncture your cervix,
vagina or uterus, as well as weaken or tear the muscles and introduce
harmful bacteria to your uterus increasing the likelihood of diseases
such as pelvic inflammatory disease, which can leave you infertile.
The
fact that you're so sore and you see blood is reason enough to stop
this practice at once.
If sex is uninteresting without fisting, you may need to seek counseling.
A fetish like this only becomes a problem when you can't enjoy sex
without it.
See your physician and get a checkup at once. You need to make sure
you don't have an infection or worse. Do not delay. Good luck sweet
kitten.
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Dear
Miss Kitten:
I'm
a single woman in my late forties and was recently approached by a
24 yr old. He was very tempting BUT I delined because I kept thinking
that I'd be inviting all kinds of unforseen trouble if I accepted.
What kinds of problems/benefits come with Fall/Spring relationships
other than social disapproval and purely sexual relationships should
I expect and any advice on how to handle them? --Name
withheld
Big
Cats and Little Kittens
Remember
that movie "How Stella Got Her Groove Back"? She was in
the same situation, and although she looked like a fool to her family
and friends, in the end it all worked out, and they lived happily
ever after.
You
should know better than to believe anything Hollywood tells you.
Miss
Kitten isn't denying that there are some older woman/younger man relationships
out there that worked out okay. In fact, I know a couple (woman 10
years older) who are still happily married, but I'm willing to bet
that most fall apart rather quickly.
I
can't say I blame you. Who wouldn't want a young hotty? But then you'll
get to meet his friends, or worse, his family, and then you'll begin
to see why these relationships don't usually work. What are you going
to do when he wants you to go to a Limp Biskit concert with his friends,
and you're standing around with a bunch of twenty-somethings in baggy
clothing while you're feeling like their chaperone?
Okay,
so maybe he isn't the Limp Biskit type. Maybe he already hangs out
with older folks anyway. Maybe he's very mature.
I
think the hardest part is getting past the stereotypes. You two have
lived two different lives and come from two different backgrounds.
It's similar to people from different cultures. Actually, you're from
different cultures. You remember Woodstock, he remembers Lollapaloza.
You lived through Vietnam, he lived through MTV. He doesn't remember
a world without cable television.
So
what are you looking for? There's always the "strictly sex"
relationship, and if you two can manage to not get emotionally involved
and stay out of each other's lives, it could be joyous. Difficult
to do for a lengthy period of time.
I
can't say "don't do it". Heck, I'd be tempted too. And maybe
no one would get hurt, and maybe it would be great. Just make sure
that you have a very serious heart-to-heart and lay out the ground
rules, and stick to them. Be honest with yourself and with him about
what you want and need.
Wow,
that sounds like advice I'd give to anyone starting a new relationship.
Got
a question for Miss Kitten? Email her at misskitten@sex12cd.com.
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Dear
Miss Kitten:
I
have only been sexually active for the past 6 years and during that
time I have always had the guy on top simply because I don't know
what to do when I am on top but I don't feel like I am pleasing him
by always being on the bottom. Help me out. --Name
withheld
Too
Shy, Shy
Oh,
my sweet kitten. Six years of being on your back! I'm afraid I can't
help you, you must let your Tomcat help you. The next time you want
to have sex, sneak up on your Tom while he's lying on his back. Straddle
him and kiss and snuggle. Try practicing sex on top with your clothes
on. What I mean is, start your foreplay with you on top, teasing him.
Relax and let your mind wander. Your body will do what it wants.
When
the both of you are sufficiently aroused and start to get naked, ask
your Tom what he wants. Let him guide you. Relax, relax, relax and
just let your body go. Ask your Tom to guide himself into you and
move as you like. Continually ask him if he likes it. Most likely,
he will grab your hips and move you the way he wants, especially as
he gets more excited.
The
key to trying different positions is to be relaxed and comfortable
with your partner. Do the two of you communicate well? Do you talk
to each other about anything and everything? Sex amplifies how you
relate to one another. If you aren't completely comfortable together
when you're not having sex, then you'll be VERY uncomfortable when
you're having sex.
Is
your Tom a nice man? Does he treat you well, or does he humiliate
you and embarrass you? Look at your relationship as a whole and ask
yourself if it's good. If he's not treating you well out of the bed,
you won't be comfortable with him in the bed. Try making a list of
the things you want in a relationship, and see if your relationship
meets the criteria. Talk to your Tom about what you want. If you can't
talk to him, you have a real problem that could mean you need to end
the relationship, or perhaps you need to talk to a therapist. Only
you know the answer to that.
Got
a question for Miss Kitten? Email her at misskitten@sex12cd.com.
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Dear
Miss Kitten:
I
am a man of 30 and I would like some advice on a very intimate sex
problem I have with my present girlfriend. I have read in some
sex forums that some men don't like the vaginal odors of a woman and
are put off by them when having sex. Well, my issue is just the opposite!
I
have always been turned on by the natural aromas a woman has in her
intimate parts but my present girlfriend keeps herself so clean and
asceptic there that I don't get much excited when I kiss or lick her
pussy. In fact I really miss a former girlfriend I had a few years
ago, because she wasn't so much bothered about her hygiene and when
we had sex and I took off her panties she never failed to offer me
a nice odorous pussy which excited me so much and helped me to reach
a vigorous erection.
I
would like to tell my present girlfriend about this but I'm very embarassed
to ask her for fear that she might think I' m weird or filthy.What
can I do? Do you think there's something wrong with me? Am I a pervert
if I love all the natural odors of a pussy? Thank you very much for
your reply. --Walter
Cat
Treats. . .
Yet
another question from Toms who enjoy performing cunnilingus on their
lionesses! I'm so proud!
First
of all, no, I'd don't think you're wierd or filthy. There is absolutely
nothing wrong with you. People like many different things, and you
just like a vagina that's not squeaky clean.
However,
every woman smells a little different, as I'm sure you've noticed.
Your girlfriend may not give off much odor. Some women don't. I'm
not sure you can ask her not to bathe, but you could try going camping.
Felines don't get overly clean when sleeping outdoors!
But
seriously, instead of focusing on how she lacks a smell, try to focus
on her smell. She must have one. Think of women's vaginas as a buffet.
Each food tastes different, smells different. But that doesn't make
any particular food bad, but then again, I hate spinach.
Okay,
I've gone off on another tangent. Learn to appreciate your girlfriend's
body odor. It's delicate with a slight woody flavor. . . Also try
getting her really aroused before performing cunnilingus. That way
she'll be secreting plenty of her natural fluids, which should add
to the aroma.
Don't
hold her up to your former girlfriend's ideal. Look at your girlfriend
anew. See her in a different light, her light. As long as
you pine away for your old girlfriend, you'll never give this one
a chance.
Happy
licking!
Got
a question for Miss Kitten? Email her at misskitten@sex12cd.com.
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Dear
Miss Kitten:
Often,
pretty much 85% of the time I ask, offer, or try, my girlfriend doesn't
let me go down on her. I really want to do more than simply have intercourse,
but most of the time she doesn't want me to. I know that she feels
as though she isn't clean sometimes, but I have never found that to
be the case, and I tell her that often. I try and make her feel beautiful
(because she is) but I'm wondering if there is anything else I could
try or do to make her feel comfortable with doing that.
Sweet
Kitten. . .
I
love to hear about Toms who so enjoy performing cunnilingus on their
lioness. Unfortunately, some women have issues with it. Your female
wouldn't happen to be, or come from, a fundamentalist Christian background,
would she?
Our
society has been blessed and cursed by its Christian foundation, one
of them being the heavy guilt of sex! Evil thoughts can linger in
the back of the mind, and the further away from standard in-and-out
the sex gets, the louder these thoughts can be.
Okay,
off my soapbox and back to your problem. Your feline may have issues
that are mental that prevent her from enjoying cunnilingus. She may
have a very sensitive clitoris and cunnilingus is actually uncomfortable.
Or she may not enjoy the way you perform.
The
only way to determine the problem is to talk to her about it. Try
to get her to talk about it beyond just copping out and saying "I
smell bad". (If she doesn't like the way you perform, she may
be hesitant to tell you for fear of hurting your feelings.) If cunnilingus
is uncomfortable for her, experiment to find a way to love her genitalia
without being too rough. Ask her during your performance what she
likes and doesn't like.
If
she insists that her odor is the reason, tell her you could start
in the shower. You could suggest bathing her genitals for her, which
could be a very enjoyable activity for you both.
If
after much talking she still doesn't want oral sex, you have to accept
that and find other ways of pleasuring her. I highly suggest taking
your hands and touching her everywhere, all over her body, as if you
are worshipping her very existence. Miss Kitten loves that. (Look
what you've done. . .made me fib!)
Got
a question for Miss Kitten? Email her at misskitten@sex12cd.com.
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Dear
Miss Kitten:
Can
you please help me? When my girlfriend and I have sex she doesn't
like it because she says my cock is too big and it hurts. What should
I do?
Too
Much of a Good Thing?
Toms
around the world worry about the size of their penis. Usually they
want bigger cocks, but you? Mmmm.
There
could be a variety of reasons why your feline doesn't like sex with
you. The size of your penis probably isn't the problem. A woman's
vagina is capable of accommodating much more than you've got, my dear.
It stretches to evacuate a fetus for heaven's sake!
So
what's the problem? Here are my guesses:
She's
not sufficiently aroused - If she's not ready-to-go, her
vagina will lack the necessary moisture to allow you to slide in and
out comfortably. Sex hurts when she's dry. You can increase her vaginal
moisture by using a lubricant such as KY Jelly. You can also spend
extra time pleasing her by performing orally on her. Don't penetrate
her until she's really hot for you.
Hint
to the Toms out there - You'd be amazed at how many men don't
do the oral thing very well (cunnilingus and kissing)! Women don't
want to hurt your feelings by telling you that you suck! But Miss
Kitten will. Get yourself a few books on the subject and train yourself
to be a master at oral activities. Your feline will appreciate it,
trust me!
You
take too long to come - Some felines can go all night, others
cannot. (Some can, but not every night!) Know your feline. Some felines
just simply dry up if you go and go and go. Do yourself a favor and
talk to your feline. Ask her what she wants. If she tells you she
wants you to come, do it. Don't be a stud and keep going so you can
brag to your friends!
She's
upset, stressed out, or not attracted to you anymore - Talk
to your feline and find out what's she's feeling. Sex is greatly affected
by our emotions. If she's feeling hurt, angry, upset, or she doesn't
love you anymore, she won't be properly aroused and sex will hurt.
She's
nervous - This goes along with my previous guess. The vagina
is a very strong muscle and when a woman is tense, it often closes
up with a vise-like grip. A large penis has no hope of entering, a
small penis can have trouble getting in as well. The only thing to
do is to help her relax. If she can't, you may have to wait until
another time. If this is a chronic problem, she may need psychological
intervention to learn how to relax or to address issues that are preventing
her from enjoying sex.
You
thrust too deeply - If you have a long penis, try not to
thrust all the way into your feline. At the end of her vagina is her
cervix which is the opening to her womb. The cervix is sensitive,
often more so close to menstruation and ovulation. Each time you have
sex, let her determine how deep she wants you to go.
She
has an infection or other medical condition - Pain during
sex can be caused by a physical ailment. Only a doctor can answer
this. If you've resolved all of the above, then have your feline see
a doctor.
She's
not the feline for you - Are the two of you still hot for
each other? Are you still in love? Do you both still want the relationship?
Talk to your feline. See a therapist if you have to. Determine whether
or not you both want to continue seeing each other.
Caveat
to my readers: If you're married or have kittens together, please
be responsible and try to work it out. Miss Kitten cannot condone
walking out on such a heavy commitment without putting in some very
hard work. The very reason Miss Kitten is a kittenless-Miss!
Got
a question for Miss Kitten? Email her at misskitten@sex12cd.com.
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Dear
Miss Kitten:
I
have noticed that very often, when I pull back the skin from the head
of my penis, I find it covered with a whitish, greasy film of a smelly
substance. This causes me a lot of embarassment when I make love because
often I don’t want to get naked with women for fear of not being
clean ...down there!
If
I have a toilet at hand before having sex I always take care of washing
the cock, but I don’t always have this opportunity. A few years
ago I was with a girl in the country woods one evening and got both
excited. She took off all her clothes and wanted me to do the same.
I kept my underwear on ...but there was no way…she insisted and
took them off.
You
know, if the penis is flaccid the skin covers the head...but at that
point I couldn’t control myself and had an erection so my cock
revealed the problem and the smell oozed out. The girl didn’t
say anything, probably not to embarass me, but she must have noticed,
and I felt so ashamed and embarassed!!
Now I would like to know: what’s that substance? Is it natural
or not? Is it something I shouldn’t be bothered about? Is it
part of all the natural sexual fluids and may it even be exciting
for women or what? --Name
withheld
A
Good Cat Bathes Everyday. . .
First,
let's identify the substance. It's called smegma, and it's totally
natural. But that doesn't necessarily mean it's desireable.
A
little smegma is no big deal. All cocks have a slight odor, but I
emphasize slight. How often are you cleaning your penis?
It's best to pull back the foreskin and clean with soap and water
every day--thoroughly. I don't know if there's a soap designed for
males, but I use a product called Summer's Eve Feminine Wash, and
it really cleans better than regular soap. I'd try looking for something
similar in your store.
It
concerns me that the smegma is causing such a strong odor as to embarrass
you. If you are cleansing your penis everyday and it still smells
so foul, you need to see your doctor. Excessive smegma can indicate
an infection. Please visit your doctor and rule out any illness before
having sex again. Oh yeah, and please, please use a condom--ALWAYS!
(This goes for all you cat lovers out there!)
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Dear
Miss Kitten:
My
girlfriend and I love and share many forms of erotica, from movies
to magazines to websites. She gets very aroused, and flat-out turned
on when the subject matter is women engaged in various sexual situations
with other women. She openly admits that she has had, and still
does have, fantasies involving herself with other women, but she also
openly admits that she is at least partially homophobic.
She
also says that there is no way she would ever be physically involved
with another woman. She loves to see it, hear about it, and even fantasize
about it, but there is no way she would ever do it. How can she be
so "into" it all, but be so against it at the same time?
Is she truly against ever doing it, or is she denying it even to herself?
I am in no way pushing her towards it, nor away from it. I just don't
understand. Can you shed any light on this ??? Thanks
for listening. --Name
withheld
Not
a Pussy in Sight. . .
It
sounds like you have a crush on your girlfriend. Just between us felines,
I think she's in denial. But it doesn't really matter. If she won't
go all the way, she won't go all the way. That's the deal. And I wouldn't
try and press the issue. Maybe she has a strict Christian background
that puts these homophobic thoughts in her head. (Is she Baptist?)
Maybe she's afraid of living a non-conformist lifestyle. (Let's
face it, homosexuality is not conformist. . .) Maybe she hasn't met
the right woman. Maybe she just needs to grow up. What would I do
in your situation? Well, if she meant a lot to me, I'd be her friend
and leave it at that. If the thought of never having sex with her
was going to eat away at me day after day, I'd put a little distance
between us.
I'm
sorry I don't have a magic wand, just a pretty paw.
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Dear
Miss Kitten:
My
fiance has gone off to another state to pursue his career, for us.
His job makes a lot of money, so he is waiting for me to finish my
semester before I join him. I had never wanted to cheat on him, or
hurt him in any way. But..
After a few weeks of sexual overdrive I tracked down my old flame,
Trent. He has a really strong desire for sex all the time, and unlike
my fiance, he can last a LONG TIME in bed. So, for a while I was really
happy fucking Trent. He was so sweet and kind. But, then he started
acting like his old self again and treated me like a fuck, instead
of an affair.
I want to just ignore him, but part of me knows that guys like him
just need to be played the right way. If I were to leave this, I would
have no way to get any sex. What do you think? If you think I should
leave, then my question would be how can I get pleasure without having
to spend money? --Name
withheld
Finicky
Feline. . .
Sounds
to me like you need to make up your mind. Miss Kitten cannot condone
cheating on your fiance--for any reason. Unlike animals and kitty-cats,
humans have the ability to control their actions, if not their sexual
desire. Time for you to put your damned pants back on and use your
brain.
"I
never wanted to cheat on him" you say. Dog shit! You sought out
Trent, plain and simple. Now your feelings are hurt because he's treating
you like a fuck. Awww.
My
guess is you're young, and you have no business being engaged. If
your fiance is not-so-hot in bed, perhaps you should rethink this
marriage thing. Of course you should do like all the therapists say,
and tell the man what you want from him. Give him a chance. Unfortunately,
Miss Kitten believes that sexual ability is largely biological, and
you may think he sucks in bed, while some other feline totally goes
into heat for the guy. Either way, he deserves a woman who will appreciate
him.
Your
final question, how do you get pleasure without having to spend money?
What the fuck are you talking about? Since when does a lady have to
pay? Besides, I think you're better off learning how to please yourself
for now, until you decide if you want to get married. You CANNOT continue
to cheat on your fiance--it's unacceptable. If you can cheat on someone
to whom you've made such a commitment, how can anyone expect you to
be true to your word?
A
good vibrator only costs $50 or so. May I suggest the Xandria collection?
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Dear
Miss Kitten:
How
is one supposed to react when out in public and one's significant
other is being flirted with? Last night my girfriend and I were at
a restaurant and the waiter was openly flirting with her. He almost
crossed a line but not quite. Her behavior was perfect, she didn't
reciprocate or encourage. To be honest, it bothered me. I felt like
a 90lb. weakling getting sand kicked in my face, but it would've been
worse to address it or make a scene. What is the right response for
this
situation?
What makes it weird for me is that last week the shoe was on the other
foot. We were out and the cocktail waitress was flirting with me.
I didn't encourage it either and my girlfriend handled it well then
too, just laughing it off. --Avoiding
Restaurants, Salt Lake City
Copy
Cat!
Time
to be a copy cat. . .your girlfriend sounds like a smart cookie! Just
follow her lead. Ignore the advances of the prowling tomcat, she's
with you after all. Be proud you have a feline who's in hot demand.
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Dear
Miss Kitten:
This
new guy at school, Farid, is really hot and I talk to him a lot. Do
you think I'll ever fuck him anytime soon? --Name
withheld
Puhlease.
. .
Miss
Kitten has very little to say except WATCH YOUR MOUTH! I suspect you're
just a child because you obviously haven't grown up enough to respect
the joyous activity you humans refer to as SEX. Yeah, maybe Farid
will fuck you, but I wouldn't hold my breath for a repeat performance.
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Dear
Miss Kitten:
My
wife & I are both married for the second time around and are both
just fifty years old. When we are talking or having a sexy session,
she indicates often her interest in having another man join us in
bed. (Note: she was a virgin when she first married and has only had
me and her first husband touch her sexually in any way). I am also
interested in this (my first wife and I swapped and had threesomes
on quite a few occasions over the years) and volunteer to assist in
either getting a guy, OR setting up a meeting with one she chooses,
OR assisting in organising whatever she wants. However, although she
agrees at the time, she always retracts and backs off when I actually
begin to comply with her wishes. I realise that this is probably "stage
(bed)-fright" but it gets tiring. What can I do to actually get
her over this hurdle and get her stripped naked by another guy and
get her into bed with both of us? --Phil,
Destination Unknown
Le
purr, le meow. . .
Felines
can be very finicky and also not be very direct. It sounds as though
you've had many discussions over this subject. . .be sure to ask yourself
honestly, if this is what she wants, or something you want. Search
in your heart. If the answer is "I'm not sure," you need
to talk yet again. Explain to her that you'll love her no matter what.
If
the answer is that this is something she really wants, then you must
really find out why she hesitates. Is it possible she likes the fantasy,
but maybe not the reality? (Maybe the unfulfilled fantasy is more
tantalizing.) You and wife have to get to the bottom of this, or the
fantasy will never be resolved and you're bound to go round-and-round.
Now,
if you're absolutely sure this is something she wants, and you know
for certain that such an encounter will not undermine your marriage,
then you may want to watch the movie 9 1/2 Weeks. Pretty cheesy movie,
but there's a scene where Mickey Rourke blindfolds Kim Basinger and
brings another woman into the room. Basinger thinks it's Rourke at
first, but soon figures it out. It's very erotic with the element
of surprise tied in. But BEWARE! This can backfire
if your wife gets angry. You MUST know her mind before
proceeding with such a plan.
Best
of luck with your lioness.
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Dear
Miss Kitten:
I
met a guy about 4 months ago while I was out with a girlfriend. We
totally hit it off. We talked almost everyday by phone and by email
(he lives 2.5 hrs away). We have visited each other a few times. He
is constantly going in and out with his interest (I call it M.I.A.).
I know that it's been a while since he was serious with anyone. He
got burned pretty bad in the last relationship he was in. Should I
just come right out and ask what his interest is the next time we
see each other? --Curious
in Texas
Fraidy
cat!
Could
be MIA's one of those typical big bad toms who've been hurt by a kitten
or two. They take so long to heal! Sometimes they're just not worth
the wait.
But
I have to ask. . .does he have a SO (significant other)? It's easy
to keep two lovers when you live so far away. Maybe he's feeling a
little guilty?
The
only way to find out is to ask. Just come out and ask in very plain
words. . . don't hesitate. Prepare yourself for whatever answer he
gives. This is the biggest mistake humans make--they don't listen.
They hear what they want to hear!
If
he's ready to give you some well-deserved time, then love it. If he's
not, decide whether you want to participate in that emotional merry-go-round.
But I must insist that you do NOT put all of your eggs in one basket.
Know
that you are a kitten among kittens and that you deserve everything
you want in life. Be responsible for demanding it and getting it.
If someone doesn't give you the attention you need, find someone who
will. You decide what it is you want and don't compromise.
Now
wait, you say! Haven't you always been told that life is one big compromise.
PUSSYFOOTS! I think you make your destiny and take charge to get whatever
it is you desire. Sometimes you get what you want, sometimes you don't.
. .but when you don't, you reassess why not, and do better next time.
Now
see what you've done! Miss Kitten's gone off on a tangent! So pick
up the phone and call the man and find out what's on his mind!
Bon
chance my fearless feline!
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Dear
Miss Kitten:
I'm
too shy to ask this woman to, maybe not go as far as sex, but to take
the relationship further. Can you help me? --Shy,
Destination Unknown
Meow!
Mmmmm.
Sounds to me like you're in one of those "friendships".
. .Am I right? Has she uttered these words. . ."I like you as
a friend"? If you've heard that, move on my friend. As a she-cat,
I've said those words myself and nothing good came from it.
If
you haven't heard those words, she could either think you're just
a friend, or she may be shy like yourself and harboring feelings for
you as well. Listen to what I have to say:
Kittycats
love tom cats who speak their mind. Tell the girl how you feel! You
don't have to be a suave, swaggering tom cat to get the point across,
a little humility is attractive too. Tell her honestly. . .be sweet,
because that is your nature. Just tell her what you want, because
otherwise you'll never know. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, my
friend.
Be
prepared to accept whatever answer she gives you. If it's mutual,
celebrate! Bring flowers or whatever goodies you think of! Be romantic
and fun. Don't whine, ever!!!
If
she says no, accept it and move right along. There are so many fish,
go fishing! It may seem like there aren't, but there are! Stand in
the mirror and tell yourself that you are a great catch, and BELIEVE
it! BELIEVE it! BELIEVE it! I can't stress that to you enough. All
people, men and women, are attracted to people who believe it.
Good
luck kitten!
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Dear
Miss Kitten:
I
can't explain it, but I am drawn to women in uniform: policewomen
and nurses in particular. Something about a woman with a badge and
a gun, sworn to serve and protect, and the soothing, authoritative
care of a nurse, drives me wild. But I've never experienced either.
What should I do? Haunt donut shops and hospitals? Frankly, I'd be
embarrassed to ask the girls I date to pretend and dress in a uniform.
How should I go about making this fantasy a reality? --Subservient
wannabe, Jackson Hole, WY
Crack
that whip!
It
just sounds to me that you like to be pushed around a little bit,
is that right my little kit? You want a strong, sexy feline and there's
nothing wrong with that! In fact, I'd say there's really nothing wrong
with trying to meet available cops and nurses. But don't just hang
around, you'll look like a stalker or some kind of freak tom-cat.
Be
a volunteer at either a hospital or for a police group. Or take a
CPR class. Either way you'll get to be in the environment you love,
contribute something useful and get to know even more about what makes
you purr!
If
you meet a lioness who's not in uniform, but you want to be with her
anyway, try finding out what makes her purr. Indulge her wildest fantasies
and I'll bet she won't mind returning the favor by giving you a physical
exam or by holding you under arrest! Indulge her with a fervor and
she'll be sure to love indulging you too!
Good
luck tiger!
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Dear
Miss Kitten:
I
want to start a hot torrid sex affair with a married woman. How should
I proceed? --Unknown
Yeow!
Proceed
with extreme caution: angry husbands can have very sharp claws (not
to mention a loaded gun)! And you don't have nine lives like me.
Are
you looking to tom-cat around, or to build yourself a nest? If you're
looking to tom-cat, remember that you may wrecking someone else's
marriage--someone who may later come looking for a fight! Is it worth
it?
If
you're hoping to build something solid with this woman, don't forget
that she cheated on her spouse to be with you! So don't choke on a
furball if she does the same to you!
Dangerous
sex can be thrilling, like walking along a high ledge; but a good
cat always knows how to land on all fours! Take a lesson from the
tom-cats out there--always wait for the first tom to clear out before
moving in.
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Dear
Miss Kitten:
My
boyfriend and I have a healthy sex life and have always enjoyed indulging
each other's fantasies. This Halloween he wants us to have sex in
a cemetary at midnight. If it were really like a movie, with a full
moon, hooting owls and thick fog, it would be thrilling, but thinking
about it also kind of gives me the creeps. Not to mention we could
get in trouble. I don't know if I want to do this or not. Kind of
both. Any thoughts? --Getting
Spooked, aka Witch-Girl, Durham, NC
Pounce!
Oh
my! Sex in a cemetary! At midnight! If you were an exhibitionist like
me, you'd do it during the daylight! Seriously though, I like to break
the rules sometimes. Trouble? It's the risk you take if you're a fearless
feline!
If
it gives you the creeps, and if getting caught will cause you a lot
of grief with your family, then think twice about this one. Cops will
surely be in force on Halloween night. But if you're careful and quiet
as a mouse, you can pull this one off. Wear black and don't undress.
Wear a skirt and don't wear any underwear. (One of my favorite things
to do! When you walk your thighs glide ever-so-lusciously over your
genitals! Purrrr!)
When
you get to the cemetary, kiss and suck your lover's penis like a good
schoolgirl to let him know you really appreciate his sense of adventure!
Then hike up the skirt and get to it! (You could find a headstone
at just the right height and lean over for him, kitty-style.) Be ready
to act like a cool cat should someone interrupt!
I
do envy you darling. When you're done with this boyfriend, can I borrow
him awhile?
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Dear
Miss Kitten:
My
current boyfriend's ex-girlfriend is coming into to town. She wants
to meet my boyfriend for dinner--alone. I don't know what to do.
Should
I be angry? A friend of mine told me I should follow them. Should
I? Or should I get a hot date for myself? Should I insist on meeting
this girl or what? What's going on here?--J.S.,
Winder, Georgia
Catfight!
Oh
darling, I do feel for you. But I wouldn't sharpen my claws just yet.
She's only in town for a little while, right? Then she crawls back
to the alley she came from. The bottom line in any relationship is
TRUST, and you have to show your boyfriend you trust him by letting
him go alone and being polite. No catty remarks, my kitten.
To
keep yourself busy for the evening, go out with some girlfriends for
a night on the town. Have fun and flirt! It's good for what ails you.
Remember
the old saying: "If you love something set it free, if I comes
back to you, it's yours. If it doesn't, hunt it down and kill it."
THIS ONLY WORKS FOR FELINES.
Unfortunately
you humans have to be sensible, so if he doesn't come back to you,
forget about him and find yourself a nice, sexy Tom to keep you warm
at night. There are lots of fish in the ocean to keep your belly full.
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